I can't choose...it's only you...

here I sit. all made up. I thought I was going to the dance open house tonight. but for some reason so much confusion and some phone calls and I dont want to get up saturday mornings and I cant afford $40 a month. now I"m being pressured into applying to plymouth and hesser because classes start next week, and all I can seem to do is obsess about body acne and try not to cry. I'm sort of lost, and am feeling myself slipping, losing grip on whatever I had a grip on. at least this can be fixed fairly easily. I think I'll call marie. I need her beauty to rub off on me. a little rie fairy dust. I dont want to be home in the gray anymore. this wind is amazing. but it's far too relative to what will roll in after it, and I'm missing out on some really good film because M still has my camera and I'm overly anal about it getting broken.
I REALLY need to get my hair cut. instead, I will rock out to this song and miss my brother and think about how awesome this band could be. this wind is amazing. it really is.

so let's end this call
and end this conversation.

I dont miss him nearly enough to have it mean anything. god. maybe there is something else. I should buy some binoculars.